Guide to the 5 love languages
Find the words for what you need to feel loved, seen and understood.
Have you ever heard of the love languages? Maybe you have, or maybe the concept is totally new to you - no matter what this article can give you a good understanding of all the love languages and which one might be yours.
Within all love languages there are different dialects and therefore not everything has to suit you. Most often, there are 2 languages that dominate how you genuinely feel loved and seen. Feel free to try the practical tips for how you can boost love in the different languages. Do you know your primary love language? Do the love language test.
With quality time as the primary love language, you appreciate feeling presence and contact with those you share experiences with. It can be anything from watching a series together, cooking together or doing a joint hobby. When the person you're with isn't fiddling with their cell phone while you hang out, you feel really prioritized and appreciated.
Love boost someone with quality time
- Prioritize time to socialize
- Be present and maintain eye contact
- Take the initiative to plan dates without distractions
- Ask "What do you want to do with me right now?"
This love language means that you probably feel most loved when you get to be close to the one you love. Small gestures such as a hug, holding hands, light massage or kissing makes you feel affirmed and safe.
Love boost someone with physical touch
- Take the initiative to touch
- Touch in different ways, e.g. quiet or playful
- Create space for presence when touching
- Ask: “How do you want me to touch you right now?”
Words of affirmation
For those of you who have words of affirmation as your primary love language, it makes the most sense to show and receive love through words. This love language means that you feel most loved when you are told that you are valuable and appreciated, it could be a cute post-it note or hearing the words "I love you".
Love boost someone with affirming words
- Send spontaneous text messages with words of appreciation and small greetings
- Use different words when you say what you appreciate/feel for the other person
- Speak directly from the heart rather than being silent in the search for the "right words"
- Ask: “What do you need to hear from me right now?”
You feel that there is no clearer way to say "I love you" than when your partner does not step over the garbage bag in the hall on the way out, but instead takes it with them. Coming home to a table set with hot food and the package you wouldn't have time to pick up from the post yourself makes you feel that your partner really cares about you.
Love boost someone with favors
- Be keen and responsive to what you can help with
- Take your own initiative to make the other person's everyday life easier
- Do what "still needs fixing" - This counts too!
- Ask “What can I do for you right now?”
When you give gifts, you don't think the price tag is the most important thing, but the thought behind it. Whether it's jewelry, your favorite chocolate, something you joke about internally or a spontaneous surprise, it's the thought behind it that makes you feel loved, seen and heard.
Love boost someone with gifts
- Arrange surprises of various kinds
- Give personalized and thoughtful gifts
- Be creative with the way you deliver your gifts
- Ask “What types of gift/present/surprise do you like to receive from me?”